Day 6 | Philippians 2:9-16
“Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Highly Exalted
Christ’s self-sacrificing service for mankind resulted in God highly exalting Him in the hearts and minds of His created beings. Every spouse desires to be exalted in their partner’s mind…
Song of Solomon 5:9-16 “(Daughters of Jerusalem) What is your beloved more than another beloved, O fairest among women?… (The Shulamite) My beloved is … chief among ten thousand… He is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend…”
6:4-10 “(The Beloved) O my love, you are as beautiful as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners! …My dove, my perfect one, is the only one…”
This high exaltation in the mind of your spouse can never be attained by trying to put yourself there, no matter how tempting it may seem to guilt them for their lack of love or explain all the reasons why they should think more highly of you…
Matthew 23:12 “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Remember, “We love Him because He first loved us.” (I John 4:19) Christ has been lifted up in our minds because of the amazing, self-sacrificing love He showed us. He has lifted us to such a high place of love and infinite worth in His mind, and proved it by His actions, that He is now reaping the precious fruit of being likewise exalted in our minds and hearts. So the question to ask yourself is, what position does your spouse hold in your mind? Do you think of them the way you want them to think of you? Have you exalted them to the place you wish to be exalted, and treat them accordingly?
When we determine not to worry about what our spouse currently thinks of us, or what position we hold, or don’t hold, in their mind, and focus on pouring God’s unconditional love upon them, the exaltation will take care of itself. When we surrender to doing God’s will towards those in our lives, we enable His Spirit to work upon their hearts and minds to lift us up. When we read how faithfully the woman in Proverbs 31 loves and serves her husband and family, it is no wonder that, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” (Prov. 31:28-29)
Working Out Your Salvation
We know that salvation is not of works, lest any man should boast. (Eph. 2:9) It is the gift of God, and thus our “work” is to treasure this gift, being willing to let go of everything that comes between us and God, prioritizing quality time with Him to strengthen our relationship and allow Him to do His transforming work within us.
Do we see our marriage as a gift of God? Something to be greatly cherished and prioritized? Do we recognize that God wants to use our marriage as a means of refining our character, for the sake of our, and our spouse’s, salvation?
Marriage presents an astounding new level of trials, as for many of us it is a shocking wake-up call to how selfish we still are. It daily reveals our need of a deeper walk with God in order to be able to manifest the selfless love of Christ to our spouse. When we stop thinking of our marriage as a thing meant to fulfill our own selfish desires, and embrace it as a means of sanctification, we will learn how to truly rejoice in every trial and love our spouse unconditionally.
Shining As Lights in the World
When others look at your marriage, do they see the love of Christ being manifested? Often we make the mistake of wanting others to see a perfectly peaceful, harmonious, trouble-free, fairytale relationship, but guess what? That is not the gospel!
What is the gospel?
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Do others see you continuing to love and serve and be willing to give your life for your spouse, even when they’re acting ungodly towards you? That is the gospel. That is what Christ has done, and continues to do for us, and that is how we preach His love not only to our spouses, but to the world. That kind of selfless love is what will work sanctification in both of your hearts, allowing others to witness God using your marriage to transform you both into His image, and believe that He can do the same for them.
If we want to shine as lights in the world, Paul includes that we must be, “holding fast the Word of life.” (Phil. 2:16) We cannot give what we don’t have, so to be able to pour God’s love into our spouse each day, we must be filled up with it each morning. It is quite simple, really.
But it’s important to remember that, as we mentioned previously, it is not God’s duty to keep us full. His love is abundant and freely available to all, but He doesn’t force-feed us. He allows us to choose each day whether we want to rely on His strength, or our own. Thus it is our individual responsibility to drink from the fountain of living waters, and eat the living bread from heaven, that our souls may be satisfied, and the love that we take in may shine out through us. If we truly desire to prioritize our marriage, we must prioritize spending time with God in prayer and in His Word each morning. I have certainly learned the hard way that it is not safe to start my day without doing so. Our spiritual food must be as important as our physical food (if not more!). But we need not be discouraged if we find that we have a hard time prioritizing this. While God is not in the business of force-feeding, He is in the business of coming to the aid of every sincere child asking for help. Every desire we’ve ever had to read His Word and receive His Spirit has come from Him in the first place, so if we humbly reach out and ask Him to increase this desire in our hearts, for the sake of our marriage, He will joyfully grant us this blessing!
Remember that your Father in heaven wants both you and your spouse to have high and honored places in each other’s minds. He wants you to experience victories through your marital trials, to both be fitted to live with Him in heaven, and He wants your marriage to shine brightly in preaching the love of Christ to this dark world. When we remember that these are His desires even more than ours, and humble ourselves to recognize that we can do nothing without Him, we are able to take hold of His strength and His promises in these areas, for our highest good and His glory. As Paul’s, our running and laboring will not be in vain. For, “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it”! (I Thess. 5:24)
