Day 8 | Philippians 3:8-14
“Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Pressing On
The path of marriage inevitably brings challenges that we may often feel unequipped to meet. In the midst of these difficulties, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus is the only sure way to receive the strength we need to continue pressing forward in faith. His life’s example proved that the joy of revealing God’s love to mankind and seeing souls saved for eternity has the power to override any amount of discouragement and weariness. This is why we are to look to and learn from Him, and all that He has endured for our sakes.
Hebrews 12:1-4 “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.”
Isaiah 63:9 “In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the Angel of His Presence saved them; in His love and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bore them and carried them all the days of old.”
This is why Jesus came to this earth and submitted to all that He experienced—that our eyes could be opened to the true enmity that exists in man’s natural heart towards Him, and to reveal the fullness of His Father’s love for mankind in spite of this. It is this revelation of God’s goodness and longsuffering that leads men to genuine repentance (Rom. 2:4). Are we willing to take up our cross and endure with our spouse, that they may see the beauty of God’s character in us, and be led to repentance? Are we willing to truly embrace the “fellowship of His sufferings” as we co-labor with Christ in the work of saving souls, especially those in our own homes?
I now understand why a wise woman of God once said that it would be well for us to spend a thoughtful hour each day meditating upon the life of Christ, especially its closing scenes. How often we forget about those terrible hours of rejection and betrayal, and His overwhelming love in spite of it all, as we go about our daily routines. And if these scenes are but a visible revelation of what our heavenly Father and His Son have been enduring on our behalf for millennia, would this daily meditation not impart tremendous gratitude, along with the strength and grace to face whatever difficulties may come?
Forgetting What’s Behind
God’s agape love is described as keeping “no record of wrongs” (I Cor. 13:5), and when asked how many times we should forgive our brother, Jesus said, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matt. 18:22) How much more, then, should we forgive our spouse—the one whom we have vowed to love and serve for the rest of our life?
One clear sign that we are not truly forgiving our spouse’s past shortcomings, is if when a certain issue arises, a list of previous offenses comes flooding into our mind. Satan loves to tempt us to use this “record of wrongs” as ammunition against our spouse in the current situation, but in truth, it should reveal to us our own need of repentance and deeper healing. The fact that this list comes to our mind with negative emotions attached to each event is proof that we have not truly forgiven them for these things. And this is worse news for us than it is for them, because the fact that we are unable to freely and fully forgive others is evidence that we have not yet received God’s free and full forgiveness for ourselves. We cannot give what we haven’t yet received.
But the abundantly good news is that His forgiveness is full and free! All that we have to do is come humbly to Him with a willing heart to receive it and believe it.
Psalm 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
When we are able to truly believe this, and experience this healing in our relationship with God, we’ll find that we are also able to cast our spouse’s sins as far from our minds as the east is from the west.
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Notice that He forgave us, past tense, before we ever confessed our sins or asked for His forgiveness. In other words, the ball is in our court to either receive or reject what is available to us, but God is not holding onto any negative thoughts towards us.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
To extend to our spouse the same forgiveness that God has extended to us, is also to forgive them before they ask for it. They don’t need to ever confess or repent before you can fully and completely forgive them. In fact, your free forgiveness towards them is one of the most powerful ways to show them God’s love, that their hearts may be broken in true repentance, and opened up to receive the cleansing and healing that we all need.
An amazing result of choosing to walk in this forgiveness, is that those memories of past issues will fade until they no longer come to mind. Those who have experienced this can attest that it is true! True forgiveness completely changes our emotional response towards a memory, which allows us to stop ruminating on it. And the less that we think about something, the weaker those neural pathways in our brain become until they are eventually replaced by the thoughts and memories that we choose to focus on. As Paul counsels later on in this letter,
Philippians 4:8-9 “Whatever things are true… noble… just… pure… lovely… of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. … And the God of peace will be with you.”
The Upward Call
Believing that we are called to share the untiring, unfailing love of God with every person in our lives (including our spouse!) seems to the natural human heart like a burdensome task. But when we have Christ as our Burden-Bearer, it is a wonderfully freeing experience.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
With Christ bearing more upon His shoulders than we could ever comprehend, how is it possible for Him to describe His burden as easy and light? When the carnal mind tries to imagine all of the pain and suffering of humanity, seen, felt, and carried by Jesus moment by moment, these words simply cannot fit. The mind cannot wrap itself around Christ’s reality. But it is His reality, and it can be ours too! So what is His secret?
John 3:35 “The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into His hand.”
John 5:30 “I can of Myself do nothing.”
Matthew 11:29 “For I am meek and lowly in heart…”
The key to the light and easy yoke of Christ, is His rest in His identity as God’s beloved Son. He knows that His worth is not measured by His ability to bear the sin of the world, because He knows that He could never do it on His own. In this meekness and lowliness He is able to receive a continual stream of love, strength, and grace from His Father, moment by moment, to supply His every need. He is able to bear humanity, because He knows His Father is bearing Him.
When we are likewise at rest in our identity as God’s beloved sons and daughters, we can allow His love to flow freely through us without any fear of feeling unloved or uncared for in return. We are not giving in order to receive, we are receiving that we may give. And as we receive all that we need from our Father, nothing that happens on this earth has the power to take away our value, peace, and joy. Thus we feel no need to defend ourselves, because God is our Defender. We can bear what we are called to bear, and love who we are called to love, because we are wholly at rest in our Father’s care.
I Peter 2:21-23 “For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;”
Matt. 16:24 “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”
Let us learn of Him, by studying what He has endured for our sakes, and how He is able to endure it, that we may declare as Paul did,
II Tim. 4:7-8 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”
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