Those Who So Walk | “Growing in Grace” Couples’ Devotional | Day 9

Have This Mind

Let us recall which mind Paul is exhorting us to have…

Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,”

We are to have the same mind that Christ has; a mind of perfect trust and submission to His heavenly Father. And as we’ve just discussed, one with this mind will have such security in their identity as a beloved child of God, that they will be able to endure and press on through trials for the hope of the joy of revealing God’s love to those around them.  

“And if in anything you think otherwise,” Paul says, “God will reveal even this to you.” (Phil. 3:15). As we grow in our walk with Christ, studying His life and praying for His Spirit, we will come to understand His mind, and His faith, more fully. Thus God will be able to convict us of areas in our marriage where we are not thinking, speaking, or acting, as He would. And we need not be discouraged when He reveals these things, but trust in Him who is faithful to finish His work in us! The fact that we have eyes to see and admit to our shortcomings is evidence of His Spirit’s work, and the very assurance of our victory in Him, as we continue beholding Him and allowing Him to change us into His image. 

Note Those Who So Walk

In addition to directly beholding the life of Christ, if you ask God to do so, He will send beautiful examples of thriving, Christ-centered marriages into your life, to be a source of blessing and counsel to you. I can testify that all along the way, when I’ve prayed for godly counsel on how to thrive in singleness, how to navigate a new relationship, how to prepare for marriage, how to be a godly wife, and now how to prepare for children, God has been abundantly faithful to place individuals in my path who I could look to for a pattern, and receive Biblically sound wisdom from.

I therefore encourage you to pray this prayer also. The body of Christ is meant to edify and uplift one another. Any couple who truly have the mind of Christ will find it an absolute joy and blessing to help a younger (or newer!) couple to navigate the journey of marriage.

But with our desire for heavenly wisdom, we must exercise discernment when considering a couple as a source of counsel. Paul describes those “whose end is destruction,” (Phil. 3:18-19) giving some helpful indicators to take into consideration:

• “Whose God is their belly…” Do they idolize fleshly pleasures? This Greek word translated “belly” can refer to the physical palate and stomach, or to the lower passions and desires of the carnal man. Hence this warning certainly includes those who indulge in overly stimulating and unhealthy foods, but could also include those who indulge in sexual excess, addictive substances, or unprofitable entertainment and amusements. 
• “Whose glory is their shame…” Do they glory (find their value, or boast) in features of their lives which the world may applaud, but which are shameful to God? 
• “Who set their mind on earthly things…” Are their minds—their goals, ambitions, daily desires—set on the temporary things of this earth, which shall ultimately come to nothing?

Even if a couple whose lives reveal these qualities profess to be Christian, according to Paul they do not have the mind of Christ, and are actually enemies of the cross of Christ. This may be a hard saying, but it’s very important for us to know who is safe to allow as a “pattern” in our lives. 

Exodus 20:7 “You shall not take the name of the LORD (Yahweh) your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”

To “take” in this context means to take up and carry with you. In other words, this commandment is not simply referring to using God’s name as a curse word, as many may think (though that certainly isn’t a wise habit either). But it is speaking about taking up the name of Yahweh and carrying it with you—referring to yourself as a follower of God, or nowadays a Christian—but doing so in vain, because you are not truly dying to self and allowing Christ to live through you.

We are called to have spiritual discernment, and to be “fruit” inspectors (Gal. 5:22-23). It is the only way to determine whether the roots of the tree are healthy. If a couple truly have “the mind of Christ,” we will see the fruits of His Spirit—love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—in their lives and their relationship, and by God’s grace their counsel would be of such as to help us produce the same fruits in our own marriage. But if a couple does seem, to our discernment, to be carrying the name of Christ in vain, we don’t judge them. We still love them and bless them, but we should not look to them as an example. 

Heavenly Citizens

One of the most powerful ways to safeguard ourselves and our marriages from carrying Christ’s name in vain is to always bear in mind that this world is only our temporary home, and that we are pilgrims and ambassadors for the kingdom of heaven. This is therefore one of the key qualifications we want to look for in another couple as well, to help us discern whether they are a pure, Christlike pattern for us to take notice of. 💛 

Colossians 3:1-3 “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.”